S.o.t.S. Entry #8

A lone person wearing a white three-quarter sleeve top and black leggings sits on a rocky cliff, gazing off into the distant background. Their face is shielded by a curtain of black wavy hair.
Photo credit: Aniruddha Bhattacharya via Unsplash

I sat there, my body tense and sore. My fingers were interlocked, the pressure I unconsciously exerted in this action causing my hands to shake. I gingerly pried my hands apart and, taking a deep breath, I plucked the leather-bound volume off the ground to my left. Flipping through the thick pages, I easily found the spell that my friend had mentioned a year prior.

“To think you dismissed her beliefs,” he said, accompanied with a taunting chuckle. I froze, too frightened to glance around. I didn’t know how, but he was speaking to me without actually being there. Looking for him was pointless; I wouldn’t find him here. “And here you are, seeking the answers in her precious book. Should I tell Gina that you took it without her permission?”

You will do no such thing! I shouted mentally, angered by his presence. I wanted him gone, and that spell was the only way I could think of to undo his sorcery. I quietly read over the page, easily making sense of Gina’s horrible penmanship. After passing hundreds of notes to one another since childhood, I knew how to find words in the mess.

Parchment with black ink scrawl that reads, "A spell to overcome love: recite three times while either rubbing a tumble stone for comfort or breathing in your favorite incense/oil. 'Lonely Spirit, filled with shame--use my tears to douse this Flame.' Repeat under your breath whenever the subject crosses your mind or your path." However, a word in the spell has been crossed out, its replacement hovering above. The spell now reads: "Lonely Spirit, filled with shame--use your tears to douse this Flame." (Click the image to be redirected to a playlist)

I took a deep, calming breath, centering myself as best I could. Then I began to recite the spell, whispering the magic syllables into the wind and willing the invisible energy to carry their weight.

“Lonely Spirit, filled with shame–use your tears to douse this Flame.”

There was a shudder; the energy around me began to shift, and I thought I heard an otherworldly growl. “Stop,” he pleaded, sounding kinder than when he had last spoke. “Please. You’re not a witch, so stop tryi–“

Something from within me snapped. I opened my eyes, staring down the enormous red beast that had followed me there. Even in broad daylight, it was shrouded in darkness. Its eyes were larger than my head, and it glared into my soul. Warning me not to continue.

“Lonely Spirit, filled with shame–use your tears to douse this Flame.”

The beast squirmed, its massive body curled in midair. There was less than half a foot between our faces, but I was filled with a boldness I never knew I possessed. I gazed back at the forgotten creature, washing its energy away from mine as I repeated the phrase a final time.

“Lonely Spirit, filled with shame–“

“DON’T!” His voice flooded my mind, making me flinch. “Do you know what will happen if you sever the connection? I can’t lose you again–!”

I was never yours. The beast’s eyes widened at my declaration, and before it could distract me further I shouted, “Use your tears to douse this Flame!”

I blinked.

It was gone. The only energy there was my own. I spun around, searching for him… I was alone in the woods. Letting out a sigh of relief, I felt something trickle down my cheek. I wiped my face and pulled my hand back, inspecting the liquid that appeared seemingly from nowhere.

I was crying, but I wasn’t sad. I was numb, almost hollow. His presence had left me, and with it had gone all that had made me, me.

From the diary of


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